We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
