I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
