Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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