two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
