I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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