I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
