You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
