Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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