Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
