I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
