he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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