Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I bet he comes in French.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
