I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
