you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
