I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
