nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
