she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
