So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
