i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
not ubering you a puppy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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