I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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