idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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