Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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