i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize