Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize