you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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