I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
