So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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