my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize