My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize