$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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