I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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