ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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