how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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