so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
