You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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