yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
