I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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