Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
