I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
