We won't sleep together?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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