ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
