Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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