The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
