tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize