The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
