I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
