Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
