Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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