As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize