SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
