i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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