was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
