just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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