Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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