At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize