everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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