You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
